PRAYER AND THE AMBIGUOUS ANSWER
The question often gets asked, "How do we handle unanswered prayer?"
When I think about asking this question, I imagine standing in front of two doors, neither of which I want to walk through. The first door is the door of deep pain. The second is the door of deep doubt.
If a prayer is unanswered (I'll talk about that word in a minute), we typically fear one or both of these two things: pain and doubt. I was praying to avoid a particular loss or to receive something I expected or felt I needed. Unanswered prayer sends me through the door of pain. To try to not feel the pain, I may walk through the door of doubt. Does God actually have the power to do what I asked? Does God exist at all? If he exists and is powerful, why wouldn't he do this thing for me?
Both those doors feel like they lead to a dead end. But perhaps we can avoid some of it by asking a different question: How do we live faithfully when the answer is unclear, incomplete, or final?
I don't like the term "unanswered" when it comes to prayer. The Bible teaches that God hears our prayers. He is not deaf, not ever. (Read for example, 1 John 5:14-15, Psalm 34:17, or 1 Peter 3:12.) God answers our prayers, but what feels like silence may be one of three answers:
No, not yet.
No, not this way.
No, and it's final.
How do we live faithfully if God gives us one of these answers? Let's look at each one.
No, not yet - At this point, prayer continues. Do you have an unbelieving friend or loved one? You don't know the day of salvation, whether they will come to know Jesus like the thief on the cross or if, like the apostle Paul, they will begin preaching the faith they once tried to destroy (cf. Galatians 1:23). Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18). Pray like the widow before the unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8).
No, not this way - Someone has said that in this case the answer comes, but sideways. In my life, I've wanted to be the pastor of a healthy church and see our small family be close to one another. We planted a church between 2018 and 2021. The plant eventually failed. I was exhausted and afraid, and when the pandemic hit, I didn't have the heart to keep fighting for it. It wasn't going to be the healthy church I wanted. But our family grew very close through this time in ways I never expected or could have imagined. Are you keeping your eyes open as you pray? Is God answering your prayer sideways?
No, and it's final - This is the hardest. We might think God was silent on a matter, but he might have given you a solid no. We can't confuse this with "no, not yet" where there are still possibilities out there. But if the deadline passes. If an unbelieving person dies. These can be final answers. This is where faith costs the most, and where grief is not a failure but a sign that you loved something real. Can we accept a no from God? If you can only pray to a god who always says yes to you, you're praying to an idol you have made for yourself.
But how do we stay faithful no matter the outcome? We have to remember God as he has revealed himself to us in his word. He is the covenant-keeping God, and that is important.
God is the God of the long story arc. That's partly what it means that he keeps covenant and steadfast love (Deuteronomy 7:9). Don't receive silence as a "final no" too soon. Wait on the Lord. Be strong, take heart, and wait on him (Psalm 27:14). His faithfulness in promise-keeping will outlast our ability to be faithful in prayer, but the Spirit helps us in our weakness (Romans 8:26).
We place our faith in his promise. A promise is another way to define covenant. When God makes a promise, He absolutely keeps it. God didn't promise to build my church plant, but he did promise to build me when he made me his child. He has also promised to build his church.
In losing our plant, I never lost my sense of call to ministry, but I had to be prepared to let it go. God gave us the next job as we took steps forward and searched. We were on a pastoral candidating weekend in another state when an old friend called to invite me to work for him. That's how we ended up ministering in Lincoln, Nebraska, before God brought us to Northern California.
The ambiguous answer to prayer is not a problem to be solved as much as it is an opportunity to remain faithful, to believe in God, and to take him at his word that he keeps his covenant and steadfast love. Wait for it. Watch for it. Pray for it. And when the waiting feels unbearable, remember: the God who heard your prayer this morning is the same God who kept covenant with Abraham for twenty-five years before Isaac arrived, the same God who raised Christ from the dead.