WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY PRAYING FOR
I've prayed for years that if the Lord grants my daughter a husband, he would be "a man after God's own heart" based on Acts 13:22. It's a good prayer. I believe it. But until recently, I'd never stopped to ask myself what I actually meant by it.
We throw that phrase around — "a man after God's own heart" — like it means someone who reads his Bible every day and gets emotional during worship. But the phrase doesn't come from a compliment. It comes from a rebuke.
In 1 Samuel 13:14, the prophet rebukes King Saul, saying, "You have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the Lord your God...the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart, and the Lord has commanded that he will be prince over his people, because you have not kept what the Lord commanded you."
Readers won't find out until later that David is the man Samuel the prophet refers to here. But the implication is clear: a man after God's own heart is pretty much the opposite of King Saul. It's not about perfection, it's about direction. Saul's action showed that he wasn't after God's heart, but after the people's hearts.
King Saul felt the people slipping away from him, felt his approval ratings going down so to speak, while he waited for Samuel the prophet to come with a priest and properly prepare for their next military move. Saul impatiently took it upon himself to perform the ritual. It wasn't from the heart, though; it was a calculated move to win the people back to himself. It wasn't to inquire of the Lord for direction.
If you know the story of David, you may be asking, "Was David any less of a sinner? Why wasn't he rejected by God?" Once David saw his sin, he was quick to repent. He knew exactly what he had done, and his recognition of it produced a true sense of shame and godly sorrow in his heart. Saul, on the other hand, defended himself more than once after he was caught by Samuel, and then sulked rather than repent.
All of this shows that God isn't looking for our superficial perfection in rule-keeping, but our true direction in life's purpose and repentance. Direction over perfection. Let's look at these.
True direction is Godward. True North on life's compass points toward the triune God. The creature moves toward the Creator. The redeemed follow after the Redeemer. The Psalmist says, "I run in the path of your commands for you have set my heart free," (Psalm 119:32 NIV).
Quick repentance is a soft conscience. Again, the Psalmist says, "I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you," (Psalm 119:11) and "Remember not the sins of my youth," (Psalm 25:7). It's neither defensive nor just a show to manipulate people's hearts. King Saul didn't understand that. David did.
As a result, David served God's purpose in his generation (Acts 13:36). When God's purpose becomes your life's purpose, God will enlarge your heart and mind so that it can produce real lasting fruit (love, joy, peace, patience, etc) like the list in Galatians 5:22.
Paul pointed to David in Acts 13, ultimately to point toward the perfection of Christ. He alone had perfection in his Godward direction, and Christ is the one who takes us all the way home through his death and resurrection.
Truth be told, whether my daughter marries or not, I want her to be this kind of person. I want the officers in the church where she worships to be this kind of person. This phrase isn't just a good prayer for a son-in-law - it's a prayer for the kind of Christian community she'll be held by for the rest of her life.